


Nothing's Normal in Texas

by kayyyy31



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Amy Goes Undercover, Canon Divergence, F/M, but not really au, end of season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-11-23 08:37:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11398992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayyyy31/pseuds/kayyyy31
Summary: She started feeling something in Texas.Maybe it was the mind-numbing fear that came with being locked in jail unarmed with murderers.  She probably could’ve blamed how annoyed she was at Jake and his tendency to jump in and make her job harder.  Although, now that she thought of it, it was probably just the fake pregnancy that was making her mind funny.  It was probably nothing.





	1. Chapter 1

She started feeling something in Texas.

Maybe it was the mind-numbing fear that came with being locked in jail unarmed with murderers. She probably could’ve blamed how annoyed she was at Jake and his tendency to jump in and make her job harder. Although, now that she thought of it, it was probably just the fake pregnancy that was making her mind funny. It was probably nothing.

Eventually she’s had enough. As Jake pulls her away from Figgis for what seems like the 3,000th time since she arrived, she can’t keep it in anymore.

“What the hell do you want from me now,” she mutters as he pulls her into his “office.”

“Babe, you just have to trust me on this. I need you to get out of here safely,” he answers, the same annoyance Amy conveyed dripping off of every word.

And that’s when she let it all out. She yelled at him like there was no tomorrow. But when she finally exploded at Jake for pulling her away from Figgis, she had to come to terms with the reality of the situation. This wasn’t a normal “I’m pissed at you and I want you to know it” kind of anger. She knew that rage well; she’d yell for a bit, he’d yell back and they would be back to being gross and mushy again before she could realize they were fighting. 

But then Jake left. And while she was so beyond mad at him for intervening to the point where her cover was almost blown, she couldn’t help but get emotional as she stared at his retreating back. 

“You two are just so sweet, I can’t even imagine the pain you’re feeling right now! Separated star-crossed lovers who love each other so much you can’t stand…” with that, Amy tuned Boyle out. She just couldn’t listen anymore about how hard it would be to be undercover without Jake there to protect her. The idea just made her even more emotional, and it was something Amy was not comfortable with; especially not in a high security women’s prison.

Something was off and Amy didn’t know what to do about it. 

By the time she started to make serious progress with Maura, she was late. She rationalized that it was just that she was stressed, and that was throwing her cycle off. Being stuck in Texas trapped with the criminals, being away from Brooklyn, being away from Jake was getting to her. That was the only logical explanation. There was no other option Amy was willing to explore right now.

The feeling of despair that came with realizing she was late followed her onto the plane. Her worry for the squad, the nerves of finally seeing Jake again, and Boyle being Boyle was not a good combination, but somehow Amy was able to convince herself it was just motion sickness. She rationalized that the nausea would dissipate once she landed at JFK and was back in Jake’s arms.

The flight is the first time she allows herself to think about the possibilities that the nausea and the fact that she’s late might not be stress related, that she might be pregnant.

“You’re not even watching! How could you Amy!” Boyle cries and it takes everything Amy has to stop him from making a scene. As Boyle drones on and on about how distracted she is, she can’t help but think that her gut feeling better be wrong. She is anything but ready to bring a child into the mess that is her life, and now she’s started spiraling again.

And then Boyle starts making her talk about her spiral and by the grace of everything holy she somehow manages to keep the stress/nausea whatever thing to herself. She definitely can’t tell Charles anything. Not at least until she can sit down, really think about what is going on, make a binder, and talk to Jake. 

Jake. What is he gonna think? They haven’t had the serious kids talk yet, but she’s pretty sure he wants to have kids. She tries to throw these thoughts away because there is no way she’s actually pregnant. Her mind is just getting too into the character. She hasn’t turned Isabel off yet and her brain is still operating as if she is still in prison. That’s all that this is. That’s all that this can possibly be. She can’t be pregnant. 

And this pregnancy suit is not helping her thought process at all. She finds her hands reaching down to touch it, and while it might seem like an innocent mistake to Boyle, deep down she knows there’s a very real chance there’s a real baby under the padding.

“Oh, you’re already so maternal! Look at the way you’re caressing your bump just wait until you and Jakey do this for realz! Won’t Jake be such a great dad? Your babies are gonna be so beautiful an…” Boyle goes on and on and Amy isn’t sure she has ever wanted a human being to shut up more in her entire life. That’s saying something, considering she grew up with seven brothers. 

The “p” word makes her want to throw up. Sure she and Jake are good right now. They love each other (but she hasn’t added the “so much” yet, and she’s not sure if she’ll ever be able to add those extra syllables and oh god she’s about to start spiraling again.)

But then she thinks back to when Jake’s goddaughter was born. As Amy remembers the way Jake took care of Sharon; how he took charge of the precinct to make sure she was comfortable and the look on his face when he held Ava. There was so much love on his face for that little girl and Amy can’t help but daydream about how amazing of a father he would be to their daughter.

Daughter? Where did that come from? And now she’s imagine a little girl with his eyes and her wavy hair and oh my god this child has her wrapped around its nonexistent fingers already. Amy’s not even convinced that this child exists yet and she’s already head over heals in love with it. 

By the time she’s had the chance to think about all of this, and even start to accept the possibility of being pregnant, the plane is landing and she is only 30 minutes away from being in Jake’s arms again. Being away from him has been torture and she needs him now more than ever. 

By the time she gets to Rosa’s apartment she’s more conflicted than ever. But every thought she has goes out the window when she sees him. She watches as his eyes light up and before she can stop herself she’s sprinting at him and holding him as tight as she can with the damn pouch strapped to her body. The rational part of her brain tells her that she should just come out and tell Jake the crazy possibility that’s been driving her crazy for the last few days, but she can’t seem to find the words. Besides, the crazier side of her brain says, Amy really doesn’t want to just blurt this kind of bombshell while they’re out with their friends celebrating a successful mission. 

Amy’s head starts going into overdrive when Jake introduces her to the Captain’s “friend” and says that they’re taking things slow and she’s not pregnant. One simple statement sets her brain off again and she’s got herself convinced that this maybe pregnancy is really, really bad, that everything is going too fast, and that he doesn’t want kids with her.

She opens the door to the discussion a little when she casually mentions they should move in together, and Jake takes the bait. She can’t help but sigh in relief when he agrees that they should move in together, and while this was the perfect opportunity to talk about what’s been on her mind she completely clams up and decides to wait until they get back to Amy’s place.

When they get home however, the words don’t fall out as easily as Amy was expecting them to. That first night they were just so excited to be back in the same time zone that little talking occurs in her apartment. Jake drifts off to sleep, tired from the long and exhilarating day of taking down a dirty fed, but Amy is still too worked up to even think about going to sleep. It is during these early morning hours with the soothing sounds of Brooklyn behind her that she should wait to tell Jake anything before she takes a test. And she’s not going to take a test for a while, just to make sure that her monthly visitor truly is taking a vacation.

A week later she stops living in denial and buys herself a test. In the past seven days, Amy has stayed up countless nights (next to a completely unconscious Jake, because of course he’s asleep while she’s having a complete and total meltdown) picturing them talking a baby home to their apartment, Jake being the most amazing father ever, and their little family. As she’s left alone in the middle of the night with just her thoughts to keep her company, she starts preparing a pregnancy binder. It might seem like she’s jumping the gun but this is the only way she knows how to cope. She doesn’t even know for sure that she’s growing a human but if there is anything Amy should get a jump start on, its preparing for a pregnancy and a child.

She finally works up the nerve to take the tests (yes, plural. You can never be too sure,) when Jake comes home after receiving a call that Figgis wants him and Holt dead. All thoughts of pregnancy and babies and peeing on sticks leave immediately as she tries to console her panicking boyfriend (doesn’t he know she’s the one who’s supposed to be the panicky one in the relationship??) and gets him ready to go to god knows where. 

 

She’s trying to keep it together in front of him, but that task is proving harder than trying to crack Figgis in Texas. She tries to hide her fear and her anger in front of him, she tries to be the loving and supportive girlfriend she knows he would be if the roles were reversed, she tries to make sure he knows what will be waiting for him on the other side. She hopes and prays that she’s being convincing because with whatever is going on with her, her emotions are running even crazier. Amy tries to keep her secret to herself (she doesn’t want him worried about her more than he already will be) but at this point she doesn’t give a damn if her suspicions come to light. 

She sends him off with a quick “I love you” and a long kiss, and as he walks away again she is unable to keep her tears at bay. She managed to wait until he’s on his way to wherever it is the FBI is hiding him and Holt before the tears fall.

In all the havoc she completely forgets all about the only topic that’s been on her mind since she was undercover in that woman’s prison in Texas until hours after she gets home and blows through 2 boxes of tissues. As she goes to retrieve another box of tissues from the bathroom, the tests that are still on the counter, untouched, catches her glance. All of a sudden, she feels the same way she felt as she sent Jake off to WitSec; her heart beats faster, her palms get sweaty, and her knees go week. She wants to run away, knock on every door in the country until she finds the one with Jake on the other side. Amy realizes just how dumb she was to think she should wait to tell Jake, because all she wants are his strong arms around her, to feel his eyes burning a hole into hers, to have him calm her down in the way only he knows how to do. 

Suddenly, after putting it off for so long, she can’t wait another second. She needs to know now.

She reaches one shaky hand out to the closest test and finally looks at it.

Positive.


	2. Chapter 2

While Amy tries to rationalize that it shouldn’t really come as such a shock, as she has had the suspicion for a week and a half, she is unsuccessful in working herself off the ledge.

“Call mom and dad, talk to Jake’s mom, tell everyone at the precinct,” Amy starts to verbalize a list to help her wrap her mind around the bombshell when another thought works its way in, “oh God, who’s gonna be captain? No one can take Captain Holt’s place? This isn’t going to work, none of this is going to work.” 

And suddenly her knees collide with the bathroom floor and she’s crying like there’s no tomorrow. In her head, there might as well not be. She’s going to have to return to the precinct without Jake’s hand in hers, and with a new person sitting in Holt’s office. And while it seemed real when she sent them off to who knows where and going back to their empty apartment was harder than anything she’s ever had to do, walking into work tomorrow might just be the thing that kills her.

The first thing she does when she finally cries herself dry is break out her pregnancy binder and starts listing things she needs to accomplish before the baby comes. Of course, the first thing on the list is to get Jake and Holt home. The idea of having Jake’s child while he’s still hiding is enough for her tear ducts to produce even more tears and, not for the first time since Jake got the phone call, she wonders if she’ll ever be able to think about him without crying a river.

Before she can even color code her binder, her phones starts buzzing and brings her out of her daze with a swear. She didn’t realize the night had passed completely and splashes of pink had begun to bleed into the Brooklyn sky. Amy doesn’t let herself think about how if Jake were here he would be muttering that it was too early, the sun wasn’t even awake yet why should he have to be? She doesn’t let herself get caught up in watching the sun rise the way she and Jake have spent almost every morning since they began their relationship. And she sure as hell doesn’t let herself think about how it is so much quicker getting ready in the morning without Jake distracting her.

Not surprising, Amy is the first one in the precinct that morning. She doesn’t get that second of satisfaction knowing she beat everyone else to work, there’s no time for that now. Now it’s all about getting to Figgis and getting Jake and Holt home. She has absolutely no leads and absolutely no clue where to start, but if she wasn’t desperate enough to get them home before, now she’s under a time constraint. 

It was with that last thought that Amy noticed her hand had inexplicably wandered down to her stomach where the baby (the one that’s half of her and half of Jake) had taken residence. She tried to snap herself out of the spell; she knew she would have to tell the squad but it felt wrong to tell them before she could get the news to Jake. And since she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to share the news with him for a while, she made the quick decision to withhold the information from her friends.

Amy swore she would never say this but she was disappointed when Boyle didn’t ran into the bullpen screaming good morning while stinking up the place with his exotic food. She would’ve killed for that little bit of normalcy but everybody was just as subdued as she was. The silence was deafening and she felt the walls close in on her. There was no way she was gonna survive any length of time like this.

She was doing fine until Rosa sat in the chair next to her desk a patted her shoulder and whispered “We’re gonna get them home. Kevin will have Holt again, I’ll be reunited with Pimento, and you’ll get Jake back.”

With that, her stomach violently turned over, and it felt as though the bullpen’s walls were closing in on her. Without saying anything that remotely resembled English, Amy pushed away from her desk and ran into Babylon right before her breakfast was forcibly removed from her stomach. She sat there a little while longer, tears fresh in her eyes and she knew that if he were home he’d be here. He’d be there to hold her hair back while she puked, he’d be there for all the weird cravings at all hours of the night, and he’d be there for every doctor's appointment. God, she missed him so badly and it hadn’t even been a day. She was so screwed.

When she finally worked up the courage to head back to her desk, the whole squad had made their way in and it was time for the morning briefing. The day passed in a blur and before she knew it, Terry was standing at her desk as she packed up to go home.

“Amy, why don’t you come over for dinner tonight. It’s been awhile since you’ve seen the girls and they really miss their Aunt Amy.”

“I appreciate it, really but I just wanna go home, I’m sure I’d be good company tonight. Can I take a raincheck?”

“Don’t do this Amy. Come over and have a real dinner with me and the girls. I promised Jake I’d look out for you, and frankly I’m not sure you’re in the best mind to be left alone all night.”

Terry’s eyes were burning a hole in her as he watched her mull over his proposition. It was then Amy realized she wasn’t the only one hurting in this scenario. The squad missed him too, and it would probably help to be around other people that reminded her of him.

And while it took everything in her to not cry when Terry said his name, she knew she couldn’t say no. Her plans of sitting in bed wearing his sweatshirt, watching months old episodes of Jake’s favorite shows while eating takeout would have to wait. 

“Thanks for doing this Sarge. It means a lot.”

“No problem, the girls are so excited to see their Aunt Amy. And I’m just glad to know you’re going to get a real meal. If I left you to your own devices, you might not have made it out alive.”

On a normal night, she would’ve argued that she wasn’t that bad of a cook but she just didn’t have the energy for that tonight. She sat in the Sarge’s dining room with his wife and their three girls while absolutely freaking out that in less than nine months she was going to have one of her own. 

That’s how Sharon found her in the bathroom, rocking herself back and forth in a panicked haze She doesn’t know how long she’s been there or how much longer she’ll be unable to move but at the moment, the idea of standing up and taking a cab home is overwhelming. She has never been more thankful for anyone from the nine-nine as she is when Sharon calls for Terry and he carries her into their guest bedroom, tucks her in and turns out the light while she drifts off into the deepest sleep she’s had since Jake left. 

It takes a minute for Amy to get oriented the next morning and as soon as she remembers what occurred the night before, Amy isn’t sure if she’s ever going to be able to move. It was a bizarre mix of embarrassment and feeling safe that makes her want to hide until Jake can bring her home. 

With a light knock on the door, Terry brought her out of her thoughts and back into the real world, “Amy are you awake? We need to talk about last night. I don’t wanna pry, but I’m worried about you.”

“I wish I could explain what happened. One minute I was fine enjoying the delicious meal Sharon made and then I started thinking and thinking about him and the next thing I know I’m throwing up in your bathroom while having a panic attack. I feel so bad, oh no I hope Sharon isn’t offended, it wasn’t her cooking that made me throw up oh m”

“Amy, relax,” Terry cut her off before she could go into a full spiral, “No one’s offended you threw up in the bathroom. We just care about you and that you’re going to be okay. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really Sarge. I just miss him. Everything’s messed up and I don’t know how to be okay. I feel pathetic. It hasn’t even been three days and I miss him so much. I don’t know how to do this and it makes me feel weak.”

“Amy, I couldn’t imagine what you’re going through. If I think about Sharon being gone for any length of time with her life on the line, I’d be a wreck. It’s okay to be scared.”

“But Sharon is your wife. Jake and I have been together for a year, it’s not even close to the same thing. I appreciate your concern, but right now I don’t have time to sit around and chat. We need to get them home, soon. I’m gonna run out of time.” Amy’s eyes went wide with shock when she realized what slipped out. She definitely didn’t want to tell Terry yet, not when Jake didn’t know, not when she was still trying to wrap her head around everything.

“Amy, what aren’t you telling me.”

Resigned, Amy whispered, “I’m pregnant.”

And while it took a while for Terry to make out what she said, Amy could tell exactly when it hit him. His eyes went wide and a sad smile appeared on his face, “Oh wow Amy, this is huge! When are you due, does Jake know?”

With a deep breath and more than a few tears escaping her eyes, Amy answered “No. I had some suspicions when I was in Texas but I just thought my mind was playing tricks on me because of the pregnancy pad I was wearing while I was undercover. But then I got home and that feeling didn’t go away. I couldn’t bring myself to take a test until the morning Jake left. I didn’t even see the results until after he left. And now he’s gone and I’m pregnant and he doesn’t know and I don’t know when I’ll get to tell him. Between this and missing him I feel like crap but I can’t take a day off because the best chance I have to tell him is to find Figgis and I don’t know where to start.”

“Amy this is exciting! And we’re going to get him home. The squad and I will work overtime to make sure of that, you just worry on yourself and the baby. I promise everything will be okay.”

“Terry, you can’t tell anyone about this. I didn’t even want to tell you; it just kinda slipped out. It feels weird that you know and Jake doesn’t, you can’t tell anyone yet. I haven’t even told my parents yet, and I have to find a way to get in contact with Jake’s mom. Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

Terry sighed, “I’m not sure that’s the best idea but if that’s what you want, then okay. It’ll be our little secret. And Sharon, there’s no way I can keep this from her. Terry can’t keep this kind of secret from his wife. I’m gonna go get ready for work, we can go together. Your car is still at the precinct, right?”

With a nod, Amy stood and tried to make herself look somewhat ready for the day. She didn’t think she would be spending the night at Terry’s so Amy had to make due with yesterday’s clothes, she would change into one of the spare outfits she kept in her locker. Next she busied herself with trying to contain her hair, and hide the bags that had made under her eyes a permanent home; both of which was met with minimal success.

As she stared at her computer all day, she could see Terry staring at her. The weight of his gaze was almost as heavy as he was, and while she knew he was just trying to be protective of his “latina daughter” it just made her uncomfortable. She excused herself without a word and ran to the roof. Her fingers were itching for an emergency cigarette (if there ever was a time she needed to smoke, it was now.) but instead she dug in her pocket for her phone and dialed the oh so familiar number.

She knew he wasn’t going to answer, she knew that the voice she heard on his answering machine wasn’t him; it was an older version of himself. The version of himself from before they were dating, hell it was from before he even met her. The youthful tone in his recording brought tears to her eyes as she whispered into her phone.

“Hey pineapples, its me. At the risk of sounding too much like Miley Cyrus, I miss you and I miss your smile. Also you are absolutely the reason I know that song and I’m not sure if it makes me smile or annoyed. A little bit of both, maybe? Anyway, I just needed to tell you this, even if I’m only telling your voice mail and you’re never going to hear this. I’m pregnant. I don’t know how far along, I haven’t even called my doctor yet but still. I’m pregnant and I miss you and I wish you were here. I wish I could tell you all of this but I guess I’ll have to settle to telling the outdated version of you on your voicemail until we can find Figgis and bring you home. Because we will find him and we will bring you home. I love you so much Jake.”

As she hung up the phone, a new batch of tears fell steadily over the old ones. She didn’t care even a little that she looked like the female lead of every single romantic comedy she and Jake mock mercilessly as she stood on the roof with tears falling fast and her phone pressed up against her heart. 

After the moment had passed she ran downstairs, on a mission to make a breakthrough on the case before the weekend. She made a split second decision that what she needed more than almost anything was a few days at home with her mom to clear her head. Her head was foggy and nothing made sense and a tight hug from her mom was the most appealing thing in the world (besides killing Figgis for inflicting this hell on her and Jake, of course).

While she made a small breakthrough on the case, there wasn’t much to write home about. She would’ve been disappointed if she were explaining what she found to Jake, but under the circumstances it was more than okay. Any breakthrough was enough at this point and she was content enough to not spend the whole weekend working. It wasn’t like she was bringing the binder home to get more work done, she planned on just making it look pretty, and she wished her coworkers stopped giving her that look like they knew she was lying. 

As she said her goodbyes to the squad, Terry pulled her in for a bone crushing hug. And while normally she would roll her eyes and beg to be released, she appreciated the sentiment. 

She took the long way home that night to get some clarity and clear her head. She hadn’t exactly her parents she was stopping by but she knew they would be excited to see her. She had finally started to feel okay when she had to pull over on the other side of the Goethals to throw up. Like the last time, the act brought a whole bunch of tears to the surface as she held her own hair back and had to clean herself up. She must’ve looked like a crazy person throwing up on the side of I-95 (although who doesn’t feel like throwing up when they drive into Jersey??) but she didn’t care. She had to get home and fast.

Thanks to the traffic (seriously, is NYDOT ever going to finish the construction on the Belt?) it was pushing 9:30 when she finally arrived to her childhood home. She knocked with a shaky hand while she waited for her parents to answer the door.

When her mom finally answered the door, Amy wished she had her camera ready to capture the surprise on her mom’s face. Immediately she knew coming home was a good idea as her mom wrapped her up in a hug and whispered in her ear.

“Mija.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally this was going to be a one shot but decided against it! Warning that chapters aren't going to come out quickly as I'm working 2 jobs this summer!
> 
> Also, the next chapter includes Amy's parents and since I'm like the whitest white person in New York I was wondering if someone wanted to look over my next chapter for me?? I reallyyyy don't wanna stereotype lol.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hi Mom,” Amy choked out. It was nearly impossible to keep her voice steady but she hoped she did a good enough job to ward off suspicion. While she planned on telling her parents over the weekend about the baby, she wanted to at least make it inside the house before she told them.

“Oh my Amy I can’t believe you’re here! And you didn’t tell us!! Victor!!!” Mrs. Santiago screamed over her shoulder, “Come see who surprised us!” 

There was so much excitement in her mom’s voice that Amy couldn’t help but smile. It was a real smile, and while it broke her heart into 10 million pieces to be happy without Jake by her side, Amy couldn’t deny that being home was doing wonders for her mood. She hadn’t even stepped through the threshold yet but there was already a warm tingling taking up residence in her stomach.

It was the weight of her father’s hug that really did her in. While she and her mom had bonded over being the only girls in the middle of the testosterone, she has always been a daddy’s girl. 

“Mija, why are you crying? You’re home, it’s all going to be okay. I’ve got you Amy, you’re okay.”

“Victor, she will tell us when she’s ready. The poor girl isn’t even inside yet, come on in Mija, let’s catch up.”

That’s how Amy found herself in her childhood living room with a blanket over he shoulders and a cup of warm tea in her hand. Her mom always knew how to calm her down; whether it was a broken heart over a boy in high school, a rough day on the job or if she was just homesick.

“What’s going on Amy, is everything alright? This isn’t about Jake is it? I knew that boy was up to no good, I have half a mind to track him down and kill him for making my little girl cry,” Victor’s voice had escalated to a full scream and it took the combined efforts of the Santiago women to calm him down.

“Papa, Jake didn’t make me cry. Well he did, but not in the way you’re thinking. We are still very much together and very much in love. Before I can tell you anymore, you have to promise me that whatever is said will not leave this room. What I’m about to say is top secret and if it gets out, Jake will be in real danger.”

After getting pinkie promises from both of her parents, and her oldest brother who was also visiting for the weekend, Amy began to fill them in, “Jake has been involved in an investigation of Jimmy Figgis, one of the most prolific hitmen in New York. Jake had most of his men arrested and Figgis is after him and my captain. They both have been put in WitSec and I have no clue where they are. I’ve been told they were sent to the same location but I’m not sure that’s true. I have no idea where he was sent nor do I know how long he is going to be gone for. He’s been gone two days and I’m already struggling. All I can do is try to find and arrest Figgis, but the NYPD has been trying to do that for close to a decade,” Amy paused for a beat before deciding to dive right in, “and that’s not all I have going on right now.”

Amy, who’s eyes had been glued to the floor in an attempt to keep it together, felt her family’s stare burning a hole into her. She took a deep breath and continued, “Before all this, I’d hadn’t been feeling very well. I was down in Texas and had felt like crap but I didn’t think anything of it. But then I got home and something still felt off. I don’t really know how to describe it, but I ignored it for a few days, and then everything happened with Jake and I kinda forgot about it. The night after he left I realized…. I realized that I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant and Jake is God knows where and doesn’t know.”

Amy could barely finish her sentence before her mom jumped out of her chair and wrapped her up in a tight hug. If Amy found herself in this predicament when things weren’t so complicated, if Jake were sitting next to her holding her hand while she told her parents that their only daughter got knocked up out of wedlock, Amy would’ve been scared of their reaction. But the situation wasn’t even close to normal; Jake wasn’t there and he wouldn’t be for an indeterminate amount of time. All she really wanted was hugs from her mom and dad and promises that everything would work out. She knew that it would be one day but she still wanted their reassurance.

Amy knew that the less than ideal circumstance of being pregnant without being married was the last thing on her parents’ minds. Yeah, they were religious and obviously they didn’t want her to have a child without a ring but they were decent people who truly cared about her and her happiness. It was such a relief to have them on her side during what she knew would be tough months ahead.

“Are you feeling okay, mija?” her mom asked after breaking apart from her little girl, “are you feeling sick? Do you need anything?”

“I’m okay right now Mama. It’s been iffy so far but I’ve really only known for two days. It feels like a lifetime though.”

“Have you called your doctor? When’s your appointment, I’ll go with you.”

“I haven’t made one yet. I’ve been so focused on the case and trying to get Jake home and not fall apart. I’ve haven’t exactly handled all this well.”

“This is a tough situation Amy. I know how much you look up to your captain and while I haven’t met Jake yet, I know he means a lot to you. But you’re a Santiago and you’re gonna get through this. You mother and I will be there every step of the way,” Victor’s voice broke the silence. 

Amy had never been more thankful for her parents than she was that night. After their big talk, Amy excused to herself to her childhood bedroom where she spent another sleepless night wondering if she’d ever get used to sleeping without his arm wrapped around her.

The next morning Amy watched the sunrise as she sipped a mug of hot chocolate that she hoped would settle her stomach. It was early but a combination of her internal alarm clock, being unable to sleep without Jake, and nausea kept her from sleeping any later. Amy didn’t mind too much, she loved watching the sunrise and it gave her valuable time to think.  
She knew for sure she was going to keep the baby. Despite all the chaos going on, the idea of terminating the pregnancy never occurred to her. It wasn’t her religious beliefs that kept that thought out of her mind; the idea of “getting rid” of something that her and Jake made out of love made her sick. She loved Jake and she already loved their child. It was going to be hard; working the case while handling the pregnancy wasn’t going to be easy and the fact that Jake wasn’t around made her heart physically ache. All she had going for her was the overwhelming urge to fight until death for him and the tiny sliver of hope that she and the squad would bring him home before she gave birth.

That morning was the first time she was able to think of the good times with Jake. She hadn’t realized before but every thought Amy had about Jake was that he wasn’t there when she desperately wanted him home. Amy couldn’t bring herself to paint a picture of Jake that wasn’t centered around his absence. As her hand wandered involuntarily to her abdomen, she thought about the past year with him that she spent and all of the amazing memories the three of them would make in the future. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours, mija?” her mom’s voice breaking the still morning air.

“I’m thinking about all the fun stuff Jake and I are going to do to get ready for the baby while simultaneously making a list of things I’m going to say to Figgis when I take him down.”

“That’s my girl,” Mrs. Santiago said with a smile, “I know you’re going to crack this mija. Your papa, brothers and I are so proud of you. But is working the best thing for you to be doing right now? Your father and I heard you throwing up at 3 this morning.”

“If I don’t work this case, Jake and Captain Holt are never getting home. Either Figgis will find them and kill them, or they’ll be stuck wherever they are until Figgis dies of old age. Neither of those options sound good to me. I haven’t told the squad about the baby yet, but I know as soon as I do they’ll pick up my slack. But I want to get further along first. I know I have to worry about the baby now but I’m not going to do anything to hurt it. I’m worried enough about my big baby getting hurt, I’m not going to let anything happen to this one.”

“I know this is tough mija, but so are you. If there is anyone capable of handling all of this, it’s you.” 

“Thanks Mama. And thanks for being so understanding about all of this. I know me being a mom without being a wife isn’t exactly the way you pictured my life going.”

“I also didn’t picture becoming a cop like your father and working your way up to detective. I didn’t think you would live in New York and put your life in danger everyday the way you do. Life never turns out the way we plan it. I’m sure your life plan didn’t involve falling for your partner and then have to watch him get sent away. But this is the hand you were given and you’re going to be okay. It’s in your DNA, mija.”

The rest of the weekend was uneventful. Instead of Jake’s hands holding her hair back when morning sickness got the best of her, it was her mom’s or brother’s hands. While his absence weighed on her like a hundred pound weight, she made the best of her time at home and she had to admit that it felt good to laugh. With her mother’s hand in hers, she manned up and scheduled a doctor’s appointment for the following week. She later had to fight with her mama to prevent her from coming with her. While she appreciate the offer, the idea of anyone but Jake being with her felt wrong.

The weekend was exactly what she needed and as quickly as it started, it was time to go back to Brooklyn and begin looking for clues on Figgis. Her parents sent her off with remedies for her morning sickness and a trunk full of food (which Amy had to admit was very much needed. Jake usually did the cooking around the house). 

By Monday morning she had a renewed energy in her step and was more determined than ever to track Figgis down. While the squad had no new leads and were just as clueless as her when it came to where to start, they all put their heads together and tried to work this out. 

This was how they spent most of the week. It was dead end after dead end Amy was getting frustrated. She walked into work on Thursday, ready for the same frustration that she had been met with for the past three days. Boyle looked up when she walked in, which was weird in itself that Boyle was at the precinct before her, and his eyes lit up, “Amy!! We have a lead. One of Figgis’ men contacted us and wants to talk to us. He said he doesn’t know where Figgis is but he might be a valuable contact down the road. We’re headed to Riker’s at noon!”

The joy in Amy’s eyes that appeared during the first half of Charles’ babbling disappeared when she heard him say noon. Amy’s appointment was in Williamsburg at 1:00; it was physically impossible to get to Riker’s, interview the contact, and make back into Brooklyn in an hour. 

“Uh, I can’t. I’m meeting Kylie for lunch,” Amy said with a grimace. She knew that Charles knew she was lying and as Charles opened his mouth to argue, Terry patted him on the back.

“That’s too bad Amy, I know how hard it is for you and Kylie to schedule time together. Besides, you could use some girl time. We promise we’ll take careful notes and fill you in when you get back.”

Saying a silent thank you to Terry, Amy helped Charles put together interview questions. When they were satisfied with the list, Charles and Rosa headed towards the door while Terry pulled Amy aside.

“Lunch with Kylie? Really? You couldn’t come up with a better excuse? Charles knows lunch with Kylie isn’t more important to you than speaking with a contact that might help us get Jake and Holt back.”

“I completely panicked. I was expecting another day of dead ends and potential leads that end up being nothing. And then I come in and I’m the last one here, which never happens, and Charles is going on and on about a guy and I freaked. Today is my first appointment, and I was already on edge about that. Thanks for having my back Sarge, I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me, you know I’ll do anything to help you out while Jake’s not home. I gotta go before Charles and Rosa realize you and I can’t talk strategy for this long, let me know how the appointment goes,” Terry whispers before jogging to catch up with Rosa and Boyle.

Amy let out a sigh of relief before returning to her desk. She had solved a drug related case the day before and still had a little paperwork to finish. On a normal day, the idea of paperwork would’ve been enough to put her in a good mood, but she was so on edge about the contact and her appointment.

She was so distracted that she forgot Gina was still in the precinct. As Gina strode up to her, she cursed under her breath before quickly formulating an excuse in her head. 

“Lunch with Kylie, huh? I know she’s your only friend...”

“She’s not my only friend.”

“But still, she’s more important than getting my boy home? I know you’re with him now, and god is it nauseating, but he’s been my bro since we were little. I want him home and it physically brings me pain to say this, but you’ve gotta help them; they need you.”

Amy still didn’t want her secret out to the precinct; not until after her appointment, after she spoke with Jake’s mom, and once they were closer to getting him and Holt home. But something inside Amy broke listening to Gina talk about Jake that way. She knew how much Jake worried about Gina, but Gina is so Gina sometimes that Amy always forgets how much she cares for him too.

Realizing that Gina might be the link to crossing one item off her list and with a deep sigh, Amy looked up at her, “Look, I don’t really have lunch with Kylie, and I have a very legit reason for not going to Riker’s with them.”

“Oh really, you’re not meeting Kylie? Color me surprised. What excuse could you possibly have?”

“Gina, I’m going to tell you a secret and then I’ll tell you where I’m going. But you have to promise me you won’t spill this.”

“Oh my God you know where Jake is and you’re going to see him. You have to take me with you!”

“What? No, not even a little bit. Look, before Jake left, he left me a parting gift. One that will arrive in nine months. I didn’t find out until after Jake had already left and he has no idea. Neither does his mother, and I need your help telling her.”

“There’s gonna be a little Jakey running around? Sucks the kid will have your DNA but Jake is going to be so excited when he finds out! Oh my god, how are you gonna tell him?”

“I can’t. Not until he comes home anyway. Believe me, I want him home even more than you do. But I couldn’t go to Riker’s because I have my first doctor’s appointment in like half an hour. You need to promise me that you won’t tell anyone yet. It’s weird that you know and Jake doesn’t, and I’m really not ready for Jake to find out. Please Gina, please promise me you’ll keep this a secret.”

“I promise, my lips are sealed. You gotta take care of that child for me. Jake would never forgive me if I let you or his baby get hurt.”

“I’m gonna do my best, which is why I should probably get out of here.”

“Good luck Ames, send me updates!”

Gina’s use of Jake’s nickname caused her to stop in her tracks and blink back tears. Her stomach turned over but she refused to throw up in front of the detectives and beat cops still in the bullpen. Her steps became larger and she sped up her pace before sprinting out the door and down the road to her doctor’s appointment.


	4. Chapter 4

Amy’s insides were going crazy as she took the subway to her appointment. Her mind was running a hundred miles and hour as she thought about whether or not Jake was okay, hoping the squad would make a breakthrough with the contact, and asking herself if she was going to be able to do this by herself.

It tore her up to admit that they might not be able to bring Jake home before the baby comes, but she knew it was a real possibility. She was going to do everything in her power to make sure that didn’t happen, but still, she would have to make arrangements to do this on her own. She made a list as she walked into the OBGYN’s office; she’d have to buy furniture, decorate a room in the apartment, buy clothes and diapers and lastly, arrange maternity leave. She would refuse to take a full leave until the baby came, but she knew she’d be relegated to desk duty before too long.

Something was missing during Amy’s doctor’s appointment and it took less than second to know it was Jake’s hand in hers. She felt so out of place in the waiting room when she saw that all the other women had someone’s hand to hold, but it didn’t make her regret arriving solo. If Jake couldn’t be there, no one should be.

She went through all of the examinations alone and found out that she was eight weeks along. There wasn’t that cliche “oh I know exactly when I got knocked up” moment; she tried to mentally go back to eight weeks ago and came up blank. 

All she knew when she walked out of the doctor’s office was that in 32 weeks she was going to have a baby. The baby didn’t care if Jake was home in time or not; it was coming either way. With a renewed spring in her step, Amy walked back to the precinct and immediately headed over to Rosa and Boyle to interrogate them on their mission.

“Did he say anything? Does he know where Figgis is? Does he have any intel on where he’s operating from?” It all came out in one beat and it took a while for Amy to catch her breath.

“He didn’t give a lot of information but I think it was a good starting place. We were able to bargain with him and if he continues to help up and give us quality intel we’ll get his charges lessened,” Terry explained. While Amy tried to avert her eyes, she couldn’t avoid the flashes of concern Terry was shooting her way.

“Yeah that great and everything, Amy I need to see you like now, thanks,” Gina exclaimed as she tugged on Amy’s arm. Terry wasn’t far behind as the pair rushed into the evidence lockup.

“Soo how’d it go? Give us the deets! I’ve been dying over here,” Gina practically whined out. It took Amy every last bit of self control to keep her eyes from rolling.

“It was fine. I’m eight weeks along and the b-a-b-y is developing fine. The appointment sucked but I’ve got a good feeling. We’re going to get them home within the next eight months.”

“Well we got some news for you. While you were gone One Police Plaza called. The new captain is on his way over.”

A wave a nausea rolled over Amy and before a coherent sentence could formulate in her mind, she was throwing up in a trash can while Terry held her hair back. Amy wasn’t sure she would ever not cry when she felt someone’s hands in her hair that didn’t belong to Jake. While she knew that they couldn’t let the precinct operate without a captain forever, it hurt to think that someone else would be leading the morning briefing, assigning cases, and sitting in Holt’s office. And once they replaced Holt, the police commissioners would hire someone to replace Jake.

The rest of Amy’s lunch ended up in the trash can with that last thought.

“It’s gonna be okay, Santiago. I know it sucks, but we can’t operate without a captain forever. Remember how nervous you were when Holt started? But look how that turned out!” Terry whispered. It was almost as if he could read Amy’s mind and heard her thoughts as they began to spiral.

“Don’t!” Amy screamed, “Don’t try to make this okay. The new captain is not going to be anything like Holt. This is his precinct and Figgis just took it away! And you know what comes after the new captain comes? A new detective. A new detective who sits at Jake’s desk and takes his cases and does everything that he’s supposed to be doing.”

Gina peaced out of the evidence locker (literally; she screamed “peace” over the beginning of Amy’s tirade and ran away as fast as she could) and when Amy finally calmed down, it was just a red-faced Amy and Terry looking down at her sympathetically. 

Amy’s eyes went wide as she realized she had just screamed like it was no one’s business to a commanding officer. Luckily for her Terry just laughed it off.

“Hey, Amy, look at me. That right there was very good. Anytime you need to get angry or scream or let off some steam, come find me. Terry’s cool with being your punching bag. Whenever you need me I’m here for you, as your coworker and your friend.”

“Thanks, Sarge. I’m really sorry about that, I don’t know what got into me.” Jake’s ‘the title of your sex tape’ joke crossed both of their minds and left the ghost of a smile on both of their faces.

Amy was about to say something when she heard Boyle knock on the door, stating that the new captain had arrived. The sentiment, one that seemed so innocent to Terry, knocked Amy down a notch. Suddenly she went back in time to a year ago when she and Jake had their first “for realz” kiss in the same spot where she was currently standing. She remembered how she was about to say something when Boyle ruined their moment, announcing that Holt’s first replacement had arrived.

The deja vu was too much for her. She let Terry go ahead while she let her heart rate return to normal. Wiping away the stray tears, she followed Terry out to the bullpen while she waited for the elevator to open, desperately wishing she were making heart eyes into the back of Jake’s head like she was the last time.

The rest of the day dragged on. The good mood she was in after her appointment faded as soon as “CJ” (seriously, CJ?? Not even Captain Stentley? This is going to be the worst) walked out of the elevator and it was apparent he was going to be of no help to the squad. All she really wanted was some wine and to unclog her DVR but at least half of that wasn’t going to happen for another eight months.

A breaking and entering saw Amy and Terry at a baby store later that day. Amy did her best to focus on her work but even her best efforts were futile. It was almost involuntary, the way she drifted away from the witness and over to the miniature cop outfit against the wall. She could so clearly imagine Jake’s reaction; she could picture his eyes lighting up, the goofy grin he would shoot her way, and the “babe, we HAVE to get this!!!!” he would exclaim.

The mental images took a lot out of her and she felt herself sliding to the floor, her vision blurry with tears and her chest heavy with failed attempts to circulate air.

She felt Terry’s presence before she saw him. He did his best to calm him down but no matter how hard he tried, he wasn’t Jake. He wasn’t Jake, who had been working with Amy for eight years and had been seeing her for another year. He wasn’t Jake, who knew her inside and out, way better than she knew herself. He wasn’t Jake, who knew exactly what to do when she got like this and always managed to calm her down without freaking himself out.

Terry did the best he could and eventually she calmed down. As soon as she was able to trust her lungs again, Terry drove her back to the station and demanded that she get taken off this case. Luckily for her, Stentley didn’t know her well enough to be concerned and was far too intimidated by Terry to argue.

She returned back to her desk with shaky legs and avoided the gazes of Rosa and Charles. She’d had far too long of a day to concern herself with informing her coworkers why she was acting so weird.

The night just got worse when Rosa invited her to Shaw’s and it was obvious that she wasn’t going to let Amy say no. Amy understood this was just Rosa’s way of looking out for her, but the last thing she wanted to do was sit around the bar sober while everyone else drank when she could be reading baby books and sleeping.

That night wasn’t the light atmosphere the group had become accustomed to. The gang didn’t feel at ease the way they did on Halloween, or any other night that ended in these booths. The tone was depressing, even more so than the new normal Amy had been living in the past week.

The night was so incomplete without Jake. She knew the squad was doing their best to boost the morale, but the Jake-sized hole in the room weighed heavy on everyone’s heart. She was able to laugh, put on her poker face, and pretend that it wasn’t eating her up to be there alone, but that took every last ounce of energy she had.

Amy was so thankful that Gina had pulled the truth out of her early that morning and was now in charge of getting Amy drinks that wouldn’t cause suspicion. She knew deep down Gina was doing this for Jake; Gina exclaimed several times over the last week that Jake asked her to look over his prized possessions while he was gone and it made Amy’s heart skip to know that Gina included her in that list. Still, it felt good to have his best friend on her side.

Sharon came to Shaw’s a little later and it was the first time Amy had seen her since her freak out in their bathroom. After accepting all of Amy’s endless apologies, Sharon (discreetly) offered her some of their hand-me-downs and things the “must haves” that helped Sharon survive her pregnancies. It felt so comforting to have Sharon by her side; if Terry was the dad of the nine-nine, Sharon was the mother by default. 

That night was the first time life had felt even a little normal since the call that turned their lives around. But at the end of it, she still had to return to her empty apartment, littered with boxes that held a few of Jake’s possessions that he had started to move in but never got to finish. As the clock showed that a new day had begun, all Amy could do was curl up in the sheets clutching onto one of his tee shirts with tears rolling down her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter than the other ones but this seemed like the perfect ending spot!


	5. Chapter 5

As the night started to get out of hand, Amy’s maternal instincts kicked in (and with them a moment of acknowledgement that this was happening; she had been the mom friend for so long and now she’s actually going to be a mom) and sent the squad off into cabs. Since Amy had no idea where to send Rosa and Rosa was too far gone to tell the cabbie her address, Amy had no choice but to take her back to her apartment.

“Santiago why did you bring me here. I’m fine at home I don’t want to be in your and Peralta’s sex dungeon,” Rosa slurred as she tried to remove Amy’s hand from her arm.

“Shhh, it’s okay Rosa, you’re going to spend the night on the couch because you couldn’t tell the cab driver where you lived,” Amy said as she pushed her apartment door open.

“Mija, why are you getting home so late? I’ve been sitting here waiting for you to get home for so long, I thought you left work hours ago! I haven’t heard from you in a week, how are you doing, has the mor”

“Mama! It’s so good to see you! The squad and I went to the bar tonight. I’m sorry I haven’t called in a while, life’s been pretty hectic,” Amy added while staring at Rosa, trying to read her infamously unreadable face.

“The bar?? Mija you know you can’t drink right now! Oh no, something happened didn’t it, that’s why you were are the bar. Dios mio, Amy, come over here! How are you holding up?”

“Oh my goodness mama, come with me,” Amy finally found enough sense to pull her mom out of the room, “nothing happened to the baby mama. We went to the bar because we all needed a night to let loose. I didn’t drink anything, Jake’s best friend was able to get me non-alcoholic drinks without everyone knowing. Some of my coworkers don’t know yet. Except now there’s no way Rosa doesn’t know.”

“I am so sorry mija, I just assumed you told them. I mean, you and your coworkers tell each other everything.”

“This is different. It just feels so wrong to tell anyone else before I tell Jake. I know that’s impossible but I still want to wait as long as possible before I share the news.”

“You might not have that luxury, mija. I know it’s hard to not have him here for you, but you need people that are going to be around you when this gets hard. You need to rely on them more than ever Amelia.”

Amy spent the night wide awake, mulling over her mother’s advice. She knew the truth would come out soon. Let’s be honest, with Gina knowing it’s a miracle the entire borough didn’t know yet. This knowledge didn’t make the idea less daunting, but deep down she knew what to do.

The next morning, Amy woke up to the amazing smell of her childhood; tea and pancakes. It took everything in Amy to remember she was an adult and she could not sprint down the hall to the kitchen. Rosa was already awake and by the smile on her mama’s face, she could tell her mother was enjoying the company. While Amy loved both her family and her nine-nine family, the two groups rarely met.

“Good morning mija, I made you breakfast! I’m just going to find my phone and call your father, let him know that you’re okay.”

“Gracias, mama,” Amy took a deep breath and turned towards Rosa, “So, about last night…”

“Save it, Santiago. Thanks for letting me crash here. Don’t worry about the personal stuff. That shit is way too heavy for me.”

“So, about what you heard?”

“It’s fine, seriously. Besides, it wasn’t like I didn’t already know what was going on.”

“What?! You knew? How? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Santiago, please, I’m a detective. Also you and Terry are two of the least-discrete human beings alive. I knew as soon as you left the room to throw up for the first time. I didn’t want to say anything. I knew there must have been a real reason you didn’t want to say anything and that you’d let me know when you were ready.”

Amy knew that she and Rosa had an ideal coworker relationship; they didn’t go out of their way to tell the other everything that was going on, but she knew that Rosa would be there for her whenever she needed her to be. This moment definitely fell into the latter category and Amy had never been more thankful for Rosa.

“Thanks, Rosa. And if it helps, it wasn’t that I didn’t want you to know, it’s that I wanted Jake to know first. I have to get him home before the baby comes. And I really, really need your help.”

“We’re going to do everything we can, Amy. This is hard on all of us. No one wants to see you suffer like this. Also, tell your mom she makes kickass pancakes. Any chance she’ll give Charles the recipe?”

“God no. Besides, if this recipe ended up in Charles hands, neither of us would even recognize the final product.”

The pair rolled into the precinct with a renewed spring in their steps. The night off had reminded them of all that was missing and the group had absolutely no desire to have one more night without Jake and Holt. While they were deterred by “CJ” sitting in Holt’s office, Amy refused to let him break her anymore.

That morning, Amy made a vow to herself that she would no longer let Figgis affect her. Figgis had already taken Jake away from her, and possibly the father away from her child. That was all Figgis was allowed to take; he was no longer allowed to take her smile, her happiness, or her pride. She wasn’t giving him anymore, and in the very near future, she would be taking his freedom away.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The work day had been long and stressful and Amy was counting her blessings that she had a whole weekend to herself to unwind. As much as she loved her friends and were thankful for them, she was grateful for the time alone. As she tried to settle in, one topic sat heavy on her mind. No matter what she did, or what she was reading, she couldn’t shake the guilty feeling.

That guilty feeling is how she found herself at Jake’s childhood door at 10:00 on a Friday night, quickly knocking against it before she lost her courage.

“Hello, oh Amy! What a pleasant surprise! Come on in,” Karen’s voice rang out into the still night.

“I’ve been meaning to call you and check in. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now, my dear.”

“Well, yes you can. Your son is away for who knows how long.”

“I haven’t been seeing him everyday for years. You, however, work and live with him. What brings you to the neighborhood, not that I mind the company, mind you.”

“I’ve been meaning to stop by for a while. A situation has come up and since I can’t tell Jake, I felt like since you’re his mom, at least I can tell you right? I’ve been able to handle it for the most part, but it’s big- really big- and I just really need you to know.”

“Amy, honey, is everything okay? You’re rambling.”

“Sorry, nervous habit. What I’m trying to say is, I’m pregnant. I had a suspicion while I was undercover in Texas, but in all the craziness when I came back it completely slipped my mind. I didn’t take a test until after Jake left, so he has no idea.”

“Oh, Amy. This is wonderful news! I’m going to be a grandma!”

“Yeah, the kid’s pretty lucky in that department. I’m sorry for coming here so late on a Friday night but I just needed you to know. It feels so weird that other people are finding out and Jake has no idea.”

“Don’t worry about the time, anytime you need to talk to someone, you come here. Pregnancy is a crazy time and I hope you know you’re not alone in this. I know I’m not Jake but I am always here for you and your squad will be too. Jake is going to be so happy when he gets home!”  
“Yep. Now I just gotta get him home.”

“I have not doubted for a second that he will be home soon, because he’s got you and the nine-nine on his side. He’s gonna come home and have you and his child waiting for him. Congrats Amy, I am so happy for you and my son.”

After they finished the heavy conversation, Amy and Karen sat around, drank tea, and for a while everything felt normal. Sitting in her living room, it was obvious how much of an impression left on her son. Everything from the way their eyes lit up when they got really invested in telling a good story, the sounds of their laughs, and their awful posture was the same. Amy knew Jake would love to see the two most important people in his life bonding and it hurt that Jake being away is what brought them together.

A little while later the tea began disagreeing with Amy and while it wasn’t Jake’s hands holding her hair back, it brought a small smile to her face to know Jake’s mom was on her side. Jake’s mom knew him better than anyone and she knew she would never be able to get a better in law.

While Amy hadn’t really thought about marriage since she found out about the baby, she knew it was the next logical step. She loves Jake with all her heart and is having his baby. She didn’t want to get married for the sake of the baby; she wanted to be with him for the rest of their lives and she wanted to let the whole world know that.

But first she had to get him home, and in the meantime, she knew she had to allow herself to use the help she was offered by her friends and family. And, as much as Amy didn’t want to accept it, that meant staying in Jake’s childhood bedroom because Karen thought it was too late for her to go home that night.

After Karen left Amy for the night, Amy wandered around the bedroom taking in everything. She was so relieved that the room smelt like him, after two weeks the Jake smell was beginning to fade. She could clearly picture High-School-Jake spending his time in the room and it was fascinating to her to get to learn more about her boy.

As she paced around the room and thought came to her and stopped her in her tracks. She wasn’t sure if it was the smell of the cheap cologne that jogged her memory or if it was the combination of looking at his possessions that jogged her memory but suddenly she got an epiphany.

She was brought back to a conversation they had the day she returned from Texas. She had finally taken off the stupid belly and her and Jake were laying in bed talking about nothing. She mentioned something Figgis’ sister had told her when she was in prison and Jake had responded with something about his investigation on Figgis that had yet to be looked into to. She wasn’t sure if anything would come of it but she knew that if she wanted to bring him home, this was how to do it.

After writing down what she remembered Jake saying, she situated herself for bed. Jake’s bed was surprisingly comfortable, especially in comparison to his old one, and it didn’t take long for her to drift off into the most peaceful sleep she’s had since he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just made a b99 tumblr!! Follow me okayokayokaycoolcool !


	6. Chapter 6

The calendar on Amy’s desk tells her that today marks a month and a half since Jake left. 1,008 hours without his hand in hers, 42 days without seeing his cheese-eating grin, and 6 weeks worth of lonely nights; but if we’re being honest Amy could probably count on one hand the number of nights she has spent in her apartment. Between spending the night working at the precinct trying desperately to locate Figgis, dinner and a movie at Karen’s place that had become a staple of her weekly routine, or spending the nights with Terry and the kids, she rarely found herself sleeping in her bed. And Amy definitely wasn’t complaining. Her bed wasn’t hers, it was theirs. Nights there consisted of skin on skin contact, and now all she found was a cold side of the bed that is shaped like Jake. 

Jake and Holt being gone for 6 weeks meant that Amy was now fourteen weeks along and entering her second trimester. She knew, from her brothers and sister-in-laws, that the second trimester is when you started telling people about the baby and the milestone just made her more depressed that Jake wasn’t home. She knew that if he were sitting in the desk across from her’s that he would’ve told the secret to anyone that was listening a long time ago. And while, in that alternate universe she would be super pissed at him for not adhering to the advice her doctor and the books she’s begun to hoard gave, she wishes more than anything that he was here to spread the news.

About three hours after arriving at her desk, Amy took a deep breath and marched into CJ’s office. While things at the precinct have not gotten much better on that front, Amy knows she’s been pretty lucky that he doesn’t try to make her into something she’s not. Her and CJ have come to an agreement; he leaves her alone and doesn’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do (read: anything not related to the Jake/Holt case) and in return, she doesn’t talk to him. This agreement came about three days after he was transferred to the nine-nine and Amy unleashed a particularly bad case of hormones on him when he asked her why she was so invested in “that unsolvable case.” After the scene Amy caused that day… well let’s just say CJ may or may not be absolutely terrified of her (he totally is. Terry told Amy the next day that CJ came up to him shaking asking him to keep tabs on “the angry girl” so CJ could avoid her. It was and is the only time Amy will ever be considered THE angry one over Rosa).

But the time has come to tell CJ about her situation. The slightest sign of a baby bump had begun to peek through and she knew that she would have to be taken out of the field in the next couple of months. She had put it off long enough.

“Captia… I mean CJ. A situation has come up that I need to make you aware of,” Amy began.

“Oh, uh, Santiago… um just one minute please,” CJ said as he stumbled to get out of his chair, “Terry!! I need you in my office.”

If Amy has learned anything from having CJ as her captain, it’s that her self control is much stronger than she ever thought.

“CJ, what seems to be the problem here?” Terry’s loud voice broke through her thoughts.

“Well, Detective Santiago said she has a situation that she believes I should be made aware of and I’m scared of her so I need you here as backup.”

“CJ, Amy is harmless. Just let her talk, man.”

“Um, are you sure? Okay, Amy, what can I do for you.”

“I’m just going to skip the small talk. I’m pregnant, 14 weeks along,” Amy could tell that the last information meant absolutely nothing to him and dumbed it down, “I’m almost four months along. I’ll need to be removed from field work after my fifth month, meaning I have six weeks left before I need to be strictly on desk duty. Because I expected this to happen, I’ve brought the pregnancy section of the NYPD handbook. You’ll find information there.”

“Oh, okay, more reading. Hey, since when do we have a NYPD handbook?”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Wow Ames, you were in the captain’s office and nothing got thrown! Are you starting to accept all these changes?” Boyle came bounding up to Amy as soon as she crossed the threshold into the bullpen.

“Wha, no Boyle, I will never call that man our captain. You know that. But I figured now that I’m in my second trimester I had to tell him about my pregnancy. Better late than never, right?”

“AMY SANTIAGO WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!?!”

“I told CJ about the baby. I couldn’t hide it forever,” realization hit Amy like a freight train “… oh crap. I knew I was missing something. Surprise?”

Amy truly couldn’t believe she had forgotten to tell Boyle she was pregnant. To be quite honest, Amy couldn’t believe that Boyle didn’t know before she did. He was so in-tune (too in-tune) with Amy’s… parts… that if anyone could tell that she was pregnant the second it happened, it was Boyle.

“In my defense, I thought you already knew!! You kept sending me these weird looks and I thought that Sarge would’ve totally broken by now.”

“Oh, I see, well congratulations Amy. That baby is going to be so lucky.” Boyle sulked back to his desk with his head down.

“Wow, Amy this is awesome! I’ve aspired to make Boyle look that depressed since I’ve met him! Give me five, girl!” Gina’s voice rang out through the uncomfortable silence.

“Not the time Gina! How do I make it up to him? I feel so bad! That’s Jake’s best friend. How did I forget to tell him?”  
“A, he’s not Jake’s best friend, I am. B, just explain to him how much you miss Jake or whatever. He’s Boyle, he’s not wired to be able to be upset about this.”

Amy walked over to Boyle apprehensively. She felt so badly about the Boyle found out. Once she found out that Rosa knew, she kinda assumed that Boyle knew too. She thought for once he was able to keep his cool over something concerning her relationship with Jake. Boyle is Jake’s best friend - despite what Gina says - and for him to find out this way that Jake was going to be a dad tore her up inside.

“Charles, I am so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I hate that you found out this way. It’s just that, in the beginning I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea of having Jake’s baby,” she wasn’t even thinking about what she was saying but as the words stumbled clumsily out of her mouth she knew they were the truth, “It’s not that I don’t want to be pregnant with Jake’s kid or mother his kids at some point, but I didn’t want to do it while he’s not here. For a while I felt like if I avoided it, it would make the worry disappear. I wanted to blurt it out to you the second I first felt the suspicion on the plane but I could barely form a coherent thought, let alone form a coherent sentence. Please Charles, I am so sorry.”

“Hold up” Gina interrupted, “the plane? You’ve known since you were in Texas and you didn’t tell Jake? Jake could’ve known about all of this? What if he’s sitting in Florida depressed and not wanting to stick it out? He could have some motivation to survive that hell hole. I can’t believe how selfish you’ve been!”

“Gina, wait! It’s not like that. I had a suspicion, I didn’t know anything until after he left! Once I got home and we had to get Jake ready to go it completely slipped my mind. I didn’t think of it until after he left. Gina, please, you have to believe me.”

“I don’t have to believe anything. What if this baby that he totally could’ve known about was what he needs to survive WitSec without going crazy, and you just deprived him of that.”

“Gina, don’t you think this is killing me? I want him to know more than anything about this baby. All I’ve been doing when I’m not here trying to get him home is worry about him and hoping that he’s okay. If something happens to him I’ll never forgive myself,” Amy ran out of the room crying

She herself had no idea how she ended up in the evidence lock up so it was an even bigger mystery as to how Charles found her there a little while later.

“Ames, I figured I’d find you here, I brought you some water. A lot of good memories in here, huh?”

Boyle’s statement brought her back to the conversation that she and Jake had when he first got back from being undercover. God, was she so thankful that he was lying when he said that his feelings were nothing. She remembered the first “for realz” kiss she had after he was Johnny and she was Dora and how awful it was to lose Holt the first time. Somethings never change.

“Yeah, the evidence lock up has been good to us over the years. Except for the time Jake and I killed our captain. Although in hindsight…” the words came off lighter than Amy felt.

“I never heard the full story, what happened?”

“Well Jake and I didn’t want to put labels on anything yet and had been seeing each other for like a day. Apparently we couldn’t go that long without having our hands on each other so he dragged me back here to quote ‘break more rules.’ Dozerman noticed that we weren’t at our desks and found us here making out. The shock caused him to have a heart attack and he died. God, I miss him so much.”

“I hope you’re talking about Jake, because otherwise this just got really awkward.”

“Yeah, I meant Jake. Hey, why are you talking to me? I thought you were mad at me. God knows I would be mad at me if what I did to you happened to me.”

“I’m upset that it took you this long to tell me and yeah, I’m annoyed that you forgot you didn’t tell me, but come on, I can’t be mad for long. You’re having Jake’s baby!! Jake is going to be a daddy and you’re going to be a mommy,”

“Gah, Boyle, don’t put it like that!!”

“Sorry!! I’m just so happy for you and Jakey. That kid is going to be the luckiest kid in the world to have you and Jake for parents.”

“Thanks Boyle. Now we just gotta get him home.”

“We will, I promise.”

“Hey Charles, one more thing. DO you think what Gina said is true? That Jake needs a reason to keep holding on while he’s away? Was I being selfish by not taking a test sooner?”

“No, Amy, listen. Gina’s just really scared. She doesn’t have the same training that we have and she’s really nervous about Jake. She’s always been like this, she would do literally anything for that boy. You just gotta humor her for a while, she’ll be back to the Gina Linetti we all know and love soon. And no, you’re not being selfish. If Jake knew that you were pregnant when he left, he either wouldn’t have gone or he would try to work on the investigation while he’s away and compromise his location and get himself seriously hurt.”

“Thanks, Boyle. Let’s get back out there and get our boy home.”

As Charles struggled to get off the ground (“I’m sorry, I have sucky knees!!”) he pulled on one of the shelves and shifted it out of place. 

Where the casing unit once stood was a small piece of hotel stationery. While the neither member of the pair recognized the handwriting, both recognized the message. 

“Jake Peralta and Ray Holt took down my operation. Now I’m going to kill them both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before I never really got what writers would mean when they said "this chapter took a turn I wasn't expecting" bc like... you're the writer?? But now I totally get it..
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at okayokaycoolcoolcool !


	7. Chapter 7

It felt as though the ground was stolen from under her, all the air in her lungs were long gone, and Amy wasn’t sure that she would be able to take a single step forward without crumbling to the ground.

Figgis was in the precinct. Recently.

It took a second for Charles to realize why Amy had suddenly turned into a ghost of her second, but as soon as he did he summoned Terry-like strength and threw her over his shoulder. While the bumpy and clumsy trip back to the bullpen wasn’t so great for the last bit of morning sickness she was dealing with, she appreciated the sentiment all the same.

Every apprehension Amy had been feeling towards seeing the squad again after the argument was long gone, and instead, an entirely new kind of dread filled her. She had to find out how old this letter is. This is probably the best chance they were going to get at finding Figgis.

“We found this underneath a shelf in the evidence lookup. We need to authenticate this handwriting, find out how old the ink is and call this hotel immediately,” Charles said with as much authority as he could muster.

“What the… there’s no way this is Figgis’ handwriting. He’s not dumb enough to walk into the precinct when he knows we’re trying to get him,” Rosa snarled, ripping the note out of Charles’ hands.

“It might be a pride thing with him. He knows we’re looking for him, so he had to break into the precinct to prove that he’s better than us,” Amy dared to speak, barely trusting her voice.

“But he’s not better than us. Check the security footage, that’ll answer at least one of the questions,” Gina supplied.

As Gina and Charles raced to find the security footage from the last several months, Terry wrapped Amy up in a large hug; the way he knew Jake would in this situation.

“So, are you good?”

 “Not yet, I will be soon though. As soon as we bring Jake back. I feel bad for Charles though, and this whole thing with Gina… it’s exactly what I don’t need right now.”

“I know, and I’ll talk to her. She misses him too, you’re not the only one hurting.”

Amy had no idea a simple sentence could wound someone so badly. She felt like the worst human being on the planet. Of course she wasn’t the only one hurting, everyone at the nine-nine missed him and Holt. She had been the most selfish person ever, she was only focused on her pain. Of course Gina was pissed at her; her oldest friend was in WitSec and no one knew if he was okay.

“Sarge, I’ll be right back, I gotta go ta”  
“Go apologize, Gina’s probably already over it. She and I had a long talk while you were with Boyle.”

The 25 feet between where Amy and Terry were talking and Charles’ desk where Gina and Charles were looking through security camera footage felt like walking a mile through hell. Guilt and apprehension piled up more with every step she took.

“Hey, Gina, can we talk. I’ve got a lot to apologize for.”

“You have 5 minutes,” Gina’s voice had never been more flat.

“I’ve been a real jackass recently. I’ve only been thinking of myself and how badly I’m hurting and how in the world I will be able to this. I haven’t been thinking about you or Charles or Rosa and how you guys are handling this. You all love him and Holt SO much and I’ve been trapped in my own head and haven’t considered how badly you’re hurting. And I am so sorry Gina. Please, believe me when I tell you I am so sorry and I am going to do a million times better from here on out.”

“I have to say, you have impressed me so far. You gave me a run for my money when it came to being a selfish bitch. But that’s my title and I’d really like it back. So I accept your apology.”

“The crown is all yours. Have you guys found anything?”

“No,” Charles butts in, “He must’ve taken the footage with him, there’s 24 hours worth of tape missing. I can’t find the footage from last Thursday anywhere.”

“This is like a real life Watergate.”

“Amy, no one knows what that means,” Gina interrupted, “maybe Savant can find it?”

“I’ll bring this down to him, and in the meantime, Amy, why don’t you bring the letter to forensics and maybe they can identify the handwriting. Charles and Rosa, head down to Hotel Le Bleu on 4th to see if they’ve seen Figgis. This is going to be the best lead we’re gonna get.”

Everyone set off on their ways after the Sarge wrapped up assignments, and Amy was so thankful she had the easiest one. Normally she’d be insulted about making a trip to forensics and insist that she could head to the hotel, but today, even walking down a flight of stairs was exhausting.

The guys in the forensics office told her to check back in a few days and they’ll try to find a match for the handwriting, and all Amy had to do was sit and wait. It was killing her.

She nearly attacked Boyle and Rosa when she saw them come back a few hours later. She spent the time in the interim playing with the Rubik’s Cube that had mysteriously found its way into her desk draw the morning after Jake left. She found herself fidgeting with the toy more often as the duration of Jake’s absence went on.  
“He is using a fake name, the hotel didn’t have a reservation for Figgis in the last week or anytime before that. We checked all his known aliases too and came up empty. The hotel said they’d keep us updated though,” Rosa explained. As Rosa continued to talk, the hope that Amy had earlier in the day disappeared completely.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The weeks were flying by at an alarming pace, and before they knew it, Jake and Holt were a week shy of being gone six months. The note had been a dead end and it threw the entire squad off balance. They lost a lot of time and motivation in their search and they still could not find Figgis.

The squad however, banded together like no one had ever seen before. There wasn’t a single night Amy was going home alone to an empty apartment. The squad met every night; whether it was to see a movie, hangout at Shaw’s (despite Amy’s protests that she couldn’t drink and therefore none of them should be able to drink in her presence), go to trivia (Amy’s payback for having to watch them all down shots after shots) or just meeting at someone’s place to be together. Amy was so thankful for her friends and she knew that they all took solace in getting together too. However, every night brought the same wave of pain; there were two missing members of their gang and they weren’t sure how long it would be until they were back sitting in their regular seats.

Amy was now 33 weeks pregnant and their baby was due in 2 months. and it finally began to sink in that she was going to have to do this alone. All hope she had of getting Jake home before the baby came was gone when she had to be rushed to the emergency room by Gina because something felt wrong and it was way too early for the baby to come. Nothing had been wrong, just false labor that kept Amy in bed for a week.

Her family had been a god-send; her mother had come out every other weekend with homemade food and stories to keep her overanxious mind from freaking out. She saw Karen frequently; in fact Karen was there at her latest sonogram, and was the only person who knew the gender of the baby.

Everything was going well. But then came the frightened call from the FBI and suddenly Amy’s fingers were typing despite not getting the signal from her brain. Tears were flowing like crazy because after six months, she was staring at his face again.

It wasn’t Jake; the dyed tips and playboy type clothes told her that. But it was his smile and his eyes. God she missed him so much.

That is how Terry found her, tears dripping down her face struggling to form a coherent thought.

“Ames, are you okay, do we need to take you back to the hospital? Hold onto me Santiago, I’m gonna get you out of here.”

“No, Sarge, the baby’s fine, look at what these idiots did. They compromised everything!”

“Holy shit, give me a second I’m going to call their FBI handlers.”

The commotion had brought a large crowd to Amy’s desk, all excited to see that Jake and Holt were okay but pissed that they might get themselves killed.

“Okay, so I got in touch with their handlers in the FBI. They said Figgis is on his way and while they think the local police can handle it, they’re calling in backup. We’re leaving tonight. Santiago, I don’t think it’s the best idea if you come but I know that saying that is useless, so here. We got you some maternity kevlar.”

Amy’s head was spinning and before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face and Gina was giving her the best hug she’s ever received. She was a 20 hour car ride away from seeing Jake. She was so close to bringing Jake home.

“Ames, are you good? You just went white as Jake gets in the winter,” Gina interrupted her thoughts.

“How the hell am I going to tell him about this,” Amy pointed at her stomach, “This is like the worst timing in the world.”

“Just think of how happy he’s gonna be! Jake wants to be a dad so badly.”

“I know, I just, I wish I could’ve told him in a special way, you know? Jake deserves more than ‘Hey babe, I know I haven’t seen you in six months but look at my belly! You’re gonna be a dad in less than two months!!’”

Gina had nothing to say after that and left Amy to her thoughts. She drafted out several ways to break the ice but none of them felt natural. She only hoped that seeing him would diffuse some of the awkward she felt.

The day dragged on but finally, she was able to leave, pack a bag and get picked up by Terry on their way to Florida.

The next 20 hours were the most nerve wrecking hours of her life. She was terrified of everything; she was scared that Figgis had beaten them to Florida, scared that Jake wouldn’t be happy about the baby, but mostly she was scared that Figgis would get away and Amy would be leaving Florida without Jake.

After several bathroom breaks and a few too many almost-fights, they finally pulled into the storage facility the FBI told them Jake and Holt were hiding in for the time being. Amy was literally glued to her seat, no matter how hard she tried to walk across the 5 feet separating her and Jake she couldn’t move. Her mind kept telling her how close Jake was but she was paralyzed with fear.

“You guys go ahead, I’m just gonna hang back a bit. I don’t want the first thing he sees after six months is my bump. Can one of you just send him out here? Please?”

“Yeah, no worries Amy, we got you,” Charles answered enthusiastically. He was almost more excited for Amy to see Jake than she was. Almost.

“Jake, my son!!” Amy heard Gina’s voice cut through the quiet night. She couldn’t help but exhale hearing his voice and knowing that he is okay.

“Hey guys, thanks for coming down. Wait, where’s Amy. Guys, where is she, she’s okay right?! Where is she??”

 “Jake, buddy, you gotta calm down. Amy is fine, she’s really excited to see you. She’s in the car,” Charles could barely finish his thought before Jake raced outside.

“Ames, oh my god, you’re here. Finally, I missed you so much,” Jake tried to open the car only to find it locked, “Babe, what’s wrong? Charles said you were okay, I’m going to kill him.”

“Babe, nothing’s wrong. I missed you so much. But I have to tell you something, and I need you to not freak out.”

“Ames, what’s up? You’re really not helping the not freaking out thing.”

Words failed Amy; she couldn’t find the right words to tell Jake and instead, unlocked the car and struggled to stand up.

Fearing the worst, Jake scrambled over to the car door, “Babe, let me help you. Are you sure you’re okay,” Jake’s tone fell flat at the end and Amy knew he saw the bump.

“Jake? Say something, please, you’re scaring me.” Amy put a hand protectively on her bump and felt the tell-tale kick she had grown accustomed to. No matter how many times she felt it, it brought a smile to her face.

“Oh my God, babe, we’re, I mean you’re, I mean, what?!”

“I’m pregnant, Jake. I found out right after you left. It’s been killing me that you haven’t known. I wanted to tell you in a special way, I definitely didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry you didn’t know babe. I really wanted to tell you.”

Amy’s monologue fell on deaf ears as Jake’s stare was locked on her swollen stomach. Jake was so awestruck and in no way had he even begun to wrap his head around the fact that Amy is pregnant. He was going to be a father and his poor girlfriend had to go through the last six months on her own.

“I’m, I’m going to be a dad?”

“Yeah babe, you’re going to be a dad. We’ve got seven weeks left.”

“How did you do this alone? I mean you had to go through the whole pregnancy alone. You’re a superhero Ames.”

“I wasn’t really alone, the squad has been incredible. Terry had me over for dinner a lot, the girls are all really excited for their little cousin. And I had my family, mama says she has to meet you the second you get home, oh and your mom is really excited.”

“My mom? You went over there?”

“Of course babe, she’s gonna be a grandma. Besides, she was a link to you. And I really needed that.”

“God, Ames, I can’t believe this! We’re going to be parents! Oh my God, this is crazy!”

“I know babe, I really really missed you.”

And with that, Jake pulled her as close as he possibly could and gave her a kiss that made the last six months disappear. For the first time since he left, he wasn’t thinking. All the pain she’d felt, all the times she’d lost her lunch with no one around to hold her hair back, all the mornings she woke up sad, cold, and alone were gone and all that mattered was that his hands were on her hips and his lips were finally on hers.

“We should probably get back in there, I know everyone is dying to see you. Besides, we gotta come up with a game plan!”

“Peralta, Santiago, I was wondering how long it was going to take you to come back inside, oh, my, Santiago,” Holt stuttered.

“Hello sir, I’m glad to see you’re okay,” Amy replied, feeling awkward about seeing her captain for the first time in six months. Jake, meanwhile, has yet to remove his hands from Amy’s expanding waistline; feeling his child move with stars in his eyes.

“Congratulations detectives, you both will be wonderful parents. I wish the three of you the best.”

Holt’s sentiment brought on a whole new batch of tears, and for the first time in six months, she finally was able to bury her head into Jake’s neck while he rubbed her back and calmed her down.

She was finally able to breathe again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and follow me on tumblr okayokaycoolcoolcool!  
> (sorry for the time jump)


	8. Chapter 8

Amy wishes she could say that she was paying attention to what Holt and Jake were saying about their plan to take Figgis down, but the only thing she was truly cognizant of was Jake’s hand in her’s and his breath hot on her ear. All she had wanted for the past six months was to hear his voice again and to be able to hold him again; now that she had all that back, she was physically unable to think about anything else.

“Okay, so we’re heading out,” Jake told her, “You’re going to stay here and keep Holt company.”

“Why is Captain Holt staying behind? And you’ve got no shot in hell of me staying behind while you fight Figgis. I’ve waited too long for this, I don’t care.”

“Ames, I want nothing more for you to be able to help with the operation, and I know that I haven’t been around and I have no authority to say this, but do you really think this is the best idea?”

“Jake, I’ve worked on this case literally non-stop since you left. If you think I’m going to be able to stay behind and wait for news of what’s going down then Florida has made you dumb. I’ll hide in an office or something and I’ll stay away from everything because I know it’s what’s best for the baby but I refuse to stay who knows how far away during all of this. I spent six months 1,300 miles away from you, not knowing how you were doing. I can’t go any longer.”

“Amy, calm down, it’s okay. I’ll find a spot for you to hide at the Fun Zone. I didn’t mean to exclude you.”

“It’s okay Jake, I’m overreacting a little.”

“Please, Amy, this is least I’ve seen you overreact since Jake’s been gone,” Gina cut in. 

“Thanks for the help, Gina.” Amy couldn’t contain her eye roll. She definitely couldn’t contain the smile that broke out when Jake chuckled and kissed her cheek.

“But wait, no one answered why Captain Holt has to stay behind?”

“I literally just said that Holt was impaled the other day, were you listening to me at all?”

Jake can’t can’t contain his smile when Amy looks up at him and says no.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake finally agreed to let Amy hide behind a locked door while they lured Figgis to the FunZone. While he wasn’t happy about the love of his life and the child he just found out about being in a very dangerous situation, he knew there was no way that Amy would agree to stay behind. 

That’s how Amy and Holt found themselves in a supply closet, wishing that she wasn’t too pregnant to kick Figgis’ ass. She had dreamt of taking him down for so long and she was too big to enjoy it.

“This sucks,” Amy complained, “I wanna be out there. I know why I can’t but still, I wish I was.”

“I can’t say I was expecting this scenario, Detective Santiago. How have you been doing?”

Amy knew how uncomfortable Holt was with feelings so she tried to keep the explanation of her misery as quick as possible. “I’ve done better. I missed him a lot, especially as I kept getting bigger and knowing that there was no way to tell Jake. Are you okay?”

“I miss my home and I miss Kevin. I made the best of the situation but I’m ready to go home. As is Detective Peralta; he was a mess. He really missed you. You were the subject of many of our conversations.”

Amy’s heart began to swell with adoration. “Florida really changed you, huh? You never would’ve talked this much about emotions six months ago.”

“Yes well, I learned a lot about you since then. Jake is very fond of you and I’m very excited to go home and watch the two of you take the next step in your relationship. How are you feeling?”

“It depends on the day. I swear the baby knows when I really miss him, and tries to cheer me up. I can’t lie though, going through this without him sucked. I just need tonight to go well because I need him to come home. I don’t think I can make it without him again.”

It felt so weird to sit with Holt and talk about her feelings. This was her mentor; her stone-cold, robotic captain. Just seeing how Holt was somehow more comfortable to talk with her about her pregnancy gave her a much needed glance into his and Jake’s time in Florida.

A comfortable silence fell over the pair, both desperate to be out on the field. It was killing them both to be protected while the squad was so vulnerable, but Amy knew she had to protect her child and Holt knew he had to protect his leg. The acknowledgement of this didn’t mean either of them wanted to sit out, however.

A gunshot in the distance broke the trance-like silence and Amy was out of her chair in a flash, moving quicker than she had since her first trimester ended. She didn’t think twice when she grabbed ther oversized Kevlar vest Terry bought her and didn’t look back as she loaded her gun. Chalk it up to her years of experience on the force or call it maternal instincts; all Amy knew was that she had to go protect her Jake.

Amy was running as fast as her bump would allow her to. She waddled past the target of the gunshot and let out a huge sigh of relief to see it wasn’t Jake lying on the ground with a bullet in him. While it went against all of her training to leave any type of victim behind, Amy had one thought on her mind, and that was to find Jake. She had come this far for him, she wasn’t going back without him.

It took her breath away and broke her heart to see Jake being held with a gun to his head. Making sure her gun was ready to go in a moment’s notice, Amy lured Figgis’ attention towards herself.

“NYPD, drop the gun!”

“Looky here, the princess has come to save the day. Well, princess pregnant, take one more step and I’ll shoot.”

“Ames, what the hell are you doing, we agreed! Babe, you can’t do this.” Amy couldn’t ignore the pleading in his eyes or the desperate way he begged her to run away and hide.

“Drop. The. Gun.” Amy said through gritted teeth. She couldn’t quite make out the message Jake was trying to send her, but she knew he was telling her to make something happen. 

As Amy pressed down on the trigger, Jake moved his leg out of the way, and the two of them heard Figgis’ scream as the bullet made contact with the bone. Jake and Amy shared a relieved look before Jake slapped handcuffs on him and read him his rights. Amy could see the happiness radiating off of him, she could tell just how much he missed being a cop.

(She couldn’t tell how many times ‘Larry’ stood in front of the mirror at the safe house reciting the Miranda Rights, just to make sure he didn’t forget them. She’d find that out later, when Jake was ready and willing to begin talking about his life in Florida.)

The rest of the squad, including Captain Holt, surrounded Figgis as he was loaded into the ambulance in handcuffs. If it were up to Jake, the douche would be going straight to a federal prison, but that was probably why Jake didn’t make the rules.

Jake couldn’t hide his happiness about being back with his squad, and as the group made their way to the FBI base in charge of the case, it began to feel normal. Of course, he would have to be debriefed and then there was the long ride home and then once he was home he and Amy would have to get ready for the baby they’d be having in less than two months and oh my God. Nothing was ever going to be normal again.

‘But I’m okay with that,’ Jake realized during his Amy-esque freak out, ‘I get to have a child with the most perfect human on the planet and spend the rest of my life loving her and our child. There’s absolutely nothing better than that.’

Amy could see Jake was deep in thought, and as she tried to study his facial cues, she saw the smile she missed so much cover his whole face and felt his arm snake around her expanding middle; Amy couldn’t fight the teary smile that accompanied it.  
The biggest difference between getting briefed and being debriefed was being able to hold Amy’s hand under the table. When Jake sat in an FBI building six months ago, after a long and heartbreaking goodbye, he was terrified of his future. He didn’t want to adjust to a new place and make new friends and he sure as hell didn’t want to learn how to live without Amy. This time, he held onto her hand for dear life while he told the agents the hell he went through in Florida. He could feel her tense up knowing just how awful he had it. But for as bad as he had it, he knew the love of his life had it so much worse. She had to learn how to live without him while growing his child. 

Four hours later the trio finally got to fly home, Jake and Holt using their real driver’s licenses for the first time in six months. Jake was absolutely ecstatic about going home.

“Babe, we really need to talk before we go home,” Amy said cautiously after they got settled in. Well, after Jake got settled in and Amy got moderately comfortable.

“Yeah, we do. We never really got to talk about everything. Are you okay? Please answer honestly, I need you to be completely honest.”

“It was hard, Jake. All I wanted to do was call you and tell you. Hell, I did call you a couple times. Don’t check your voicemail when we get home.”

“Ames.”

“No Jake, let me talk. Going through this whole thing sucked. Not because I didn’t feel well or because it was too overwhelming. Before us I never thought about kids or the future, but then we started getting serious and I went undercover and I thought, ‘wow, I really want this. I really want this with Jake.’ And then it happened and you couldn’t be there. I always thought that when I got pregnant I’d get to share it with you and then I feel guilty for feeling like that because you didn’t ask for any of this and I know if you had the choice then you would’ve been there for me. But I can’t help feeling like that and I then I can’t stop being angry at myself for all of those feelings. I know you couldn’t control it.”

“You’re right, I didn’t want any of that and if I had the choice I would’ve been with you in a heartbeat. Whenever I imagined having kids, even before we got together, I saw myself holding your hair back when you got sick and holding your hand through the doctor’s appointments. But what you’re feeling is completely valid. I can’t imagine how badly it sucked to go through what you went through.”

“I think you have a pretty good idea, Mr. Hot Tub Burrito,” Amy countered with a laugh.

“I can’t believe Holt told you that!”

The pair spent the rest of flight being a couple and doing all of the couple-stuff Amy missed so much for the past six months. It took until they were flying somewhere over North Carolina for Amy to finally find a comfortable position with her head in Jake’s neck and his arm around her waist.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake took the long way back to Amy’s apartment from JFK; he was just so happy to be back in his city that he had to get a good look of it. It took a lot to wake Amy up from her deep slumber (it also broke his heart to, he had missed watching her sleep so much), but eventually the two lazily made their way towards the bedroom, Jake glancing around at of the additions to the already small space Amy had compiled.

“A lot of change going on around here, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter i have planned and I just wanna thank everybody who read this, gave it kudos and left comments! This was my first fanfic ever and I loved writing it!!
> 
> Let me know what you think and follow me on tumblr at okayokaycoolcoolcool !!!
> 
> Also sorry for the long wait, I was away at a journalism workshop last week!!

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first fic ever, so please let me know if it was too OOC or leave some notes!


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